Click on the website and a round loading graphic will appear.

At the center of the hovering graph, the word “Analyzing” stares at you, as if detecting your issues via retinal scan. Then, “Problem Bodies,” a site built by Stitch product designer Lauren Hallden, hits you with the piercing question:

“Is your one inadequate fingernail making it hard to date?”

Problem Bodies serves up an endless stream of seemingly made-up problems your body could have (Bulbous pores? Dinky biceps?) and then immediately offers up a link to the magic solution that you can, of course, buy (Pore Disguisers! Super-Refreshing Bicep Re-Energizer!).

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