Now that the World Cup is over, the majority of us Americans can stop pretending we’ve ever watched soccer before and focus on the fact that Crocs just made a high-heeled clog. Not a reasonable wedge. Not a slight platform lift. A spongy, beige and hot pink — pardon us, “platinum and wild orchid” — stiletto-inspired boat shoe.

The shoes were originally $55, but inexplicably high demand for the heeled rubber foot couches raised the going rate to $224.75 on Amazon.

The lesson here, if there is one, is that we must never assume our dreams are too hideous for public consumption. So, go forth and make something so confusing people can’t tell if it’s good or not. We believe in you.

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